Hipfire Friday: Artists are Wankers

Hipfire Friday: Artists are Wankers

By Arden de Raaij

It’s not too long ago I met ‘performance artist’ (by lack of better words) Abner Preis. We had a conversation about artists and self-promotion, but all I remembered was this one thing that Abner said to me: “Most artists are a bunch of wankers”.

Like with most things I don’t understand right away, I gave it a smile and let it pass. After a few days I gave it some thought and it doomed: He’s right! you guys are a bunch of fucking wankers aren’t you?

You artists seem to be so fond of yourselves that you walk around with your head up your ass because you like your own shit so much.

With every fucking piece of work you create, you become more proud of yourself then you were with your last work. “Look at this, I’m sooooooooo happy with it” –wank wank wank-  “It took me over 200 hours and it turned out awesome” – wank wank wank-. It makes me wonder what you guys/girls do with your works when no-one is around. You probably sit and stare at it, feeling you did good, acting like you don’t really care what anyone else thinks about it while silently hope for positive critique. That’s called mental masturbation and you love every second of it. You artists seem to be so fond of yourselves that you walk around with your head up your ass because you like your own shit so much. This is what it looks like to me:

And now shit hit the fan. Artist shit to be precise (noodle based or vegan). It’s all over the place thanks to facebook, twitter and whatnot. The shit-fan is manned 24/7 to make sure that everyone within reach gets covered. The time that your relatives and friends ( I mean the real ones you can count on one hand if you’re not too busy wanking, not your 5000 facebook buddies) were the only ones that had to deal with your foul smells and dirty tissues is over. Everyone can get some shit of you nowadays and frankly, it’s disgusting: “Come to my expo opening!!/Blog about my art!!/ Buy some shit!! –  It’s my newest work which of course is awesome and slightly better than my previous work”.  I think you just soiled yourself.

And so it has turned into one huge filthy bukkake orgy of Kudos/Likes/Shares/Tweets and Re-tweets where everyone pretends to love everyone and where no-one is ever critical.

But that isn’t all now is it? Nowadays you all have to connect with each other on every single level. You don’t need anyone but like-minded art-fags. Connect and collaborate, DIY culture and more bullshit like that.  And so it has turned into one huge filthy bukkake orgy of Kudos/Likes/Shares/Tweets and Re-tweets where everyone pretends to love everyone and where no-one is ever critical. I don’t know if that’s because you’re a generation of artists born without a spinal cord or because you’re all a bunch of narcissists with acting skills. All I can conclude from this huge pile of shit and used tissues is that there’s a general lack of critique, reflection and sense of ethics in this art community. I mean, when wanking in public starts to sound like a good idea, you might want to take a step back and reflect.